When speaking with people, I find that one of the sorest subjects have to do with relationships. Admit it, many people who are not married are into relationship issues (whether they are in one or not). And it is sore because of misunderstandings and an immaturity that is prevalent especially among young ladies and men in the church. I will not presume to want to talk about the general population that falls under this category in the world, but zoom in on those who have been called to a higher calling (set by the God of the bible).
It is with much disappointment to see certain kinds of people who like to give out wrong ‘signals’ to the other gender under the pretense of ‘fun’ and ‘making friends’. Self-control over one’s actions seem to be thrown out when they interact with one another; citing that guidelines for friendship is not outlined by God. Far be it, God gives much guidance on friendship and also on courtship. For the former, it is done to the honour of God, much like the kinship between David and Jonathan. For the latter, it is always a transparent commitment and desire to not indulge in the flesh but in the Lord’s glory. What this means is that, there is no such thing as flirting, even so-called ‘playful or innocent flirting’ is just plain wrong, as it seeks to confuse, rather than to focus on the commitment to God.
Case in point; a person (A) who constantly gets close to the opposite gender (B), which is seen through their mannerism and decision making. When the other person (B) misunderstands the other’s intention (A) and tries to explain their heart, this person (A) realising the mistake done, cuts off all communication with B, leaving the person confused and eventually hurt.
In what ways are such wrong signals seen? In the words they use; possessiveness of another person, encouraging response from the other person. In the decisions they make; always involving the other person even in the most ridiculous events or activities, putting them in a place of honour (which the public can see).
If you put out the wrong signals, be responsible for your actions and own up to YOUR mistake. Do not make the other person feel like a fool for your own foolish actions. It is worrying that such people do not seem to care… and the ridiculous excuse they always give is; ‘lighten up… you are looking too seriously into my actions’. If others misperceive your actions, it is PROOF that you are already giving wrong signals, and thus ‘playing with people’s heart’.
Do you ever see Rebecca doing such things? Or Mary? Or Sarah? Or Ruth? Or Esther? Or Isaac? Or Jacob? Or David? Or Solomon? Do you think that the people of old did not flirt? Of course they did… those were the pagans and of the world. Those who were of the book showed control in their dealings with the opposite sex. Though weak and sinful, they showed their intentions clearly.
Know that people get hurt when what you build up for them is denied by you, out of your own foolishness. I am not talking about some peculiar people who falls for anyone who gives them any attention (not that minority), but the majority, which are misled by your prolonged actions that are not consistent.
God have mercy on us all.